Hero Fiancé Destroys Family Heirloom

tire-smoking

Confessional:

After getting engaged, my future in-laws had us over for dinner.  After having a wonderful dinner and a few glasses of wine, my future mother-in-law shouted, “Oh! I almost forgot!” before running out of the room.  She returned with a large bag, which she proudly handed to me.  “Since I never had a daughter, it’s all yours!”  Then, while everyone watched, I pulled out a huge, long, tattered, old veil.

She then told me it was her grandmother’s, and that three generations have worn it, and she would be honored to have me carry on the tradition.

The fact that this thing was hideous and not even remotely my taste wasn’t even the worst part.  It was the smell.  This veil had clearly been worn to many weddings but never washed.  It was so gross.  I mean I was excited to get to know my fiance’s family better, but I didn’t need to share sweat marks with his ancestors. Barf.

Continue reading

Tuxedoed Dog: Best or Worst Wedding Crasher?

Dog-Black-Tuxedo-Bib-Yorkie_pu

Confessional:

I just came from a wedding where the Mother of the Groom refused to come to the ceremony because they wouldn’t let her dog be in the wedding.  Actually, that’s not true.  The bride and groom agreed that it would be fine – and kinda cute – if the dog was the ring bearer or at least walked down the aisle with the ring bearer.  But that wasn’t enough for this Mother of the Groom.

She wanted the dog to be…wait for it…the Best Man in the wedding.  She said, “Since you don’t have any brothers, I think the only one who could be your Best Man is Patches.” Granted, the dog had been in the family for over a decade, but it was…ya know…a dog! Plus, the Groom had already asked his friend / roommate from college to be his Best Man, and didn’t think it was nice – or sane! – to tell him he’s being replaced by a dog.

Continue reading