Can I Write the Bride’s Thank You Cards for Her?


Dear Wedding Confessionals,
My younger sister is getting married.  I’m her Maid Of Honor, which I take very seriously.  In helping her plan her wedding, I’ve tried to give advice because I’m much more organized and practical than she ever will be.  I was hoping some of my planning skills would rub off on her, but so far I’m getting nowhere.

For example, she is already months late on sending out Save The Date cards, so she decided she’s just going to skip it and just mail out invites at a later date…which she has refused to confirm.  I know people are getting frustrated with her, and I hate knowing that she’s already pissing people off.  Her kind of flighty attitude is usually perceived as fun-loving, but right now it’s leading to people talking behind her back and take her absent mindedness as being rude.
Looking ahead for a gift for my sister, I was thinking maybe I could offer to organize her wedding gift list and write her Thank You Cards for her.  Do you guys think that is crazy or inappropriate thing to offer as a gift to her?  I just worry that she will never do them, and it will lead to more people being upset with her.

Bitch Session: Is writing the bride’s thank you cards for her a great gift idea?

Brooke: Frist off, I’d like to say that as a type A , bossy person, I really feel for this sister/maid of honor.  She is clearly trying to keep her neurotic side in check.

Paul: Totally!  She is doing her best to recognize her own potential for wreaking havoc, despite good intentions.

Brooke: And I’m sure it’s hard to not strangle this bride – who seems kind of young…and by young, I mean annoying.

Paul: Totally!  However, I don’t think her “gift idea” will go over well.

Brooke: Yeeeaaaah.

Paul: It’s one thing to offer to help, but step away from the word “gift” when talking about this to the bride.

Brooke: That could work!

Paul:  Just sell this idea as more an “I’m your Maid of Honor, let me organize this for you to help you out!”

Brooke: Once while at a shower, a friend of the bride did something cool that maybe this MOH/Sister could try.  The friend brought thank you notes to the shower, and as the party was going on she quietly got all of the addresses from everyone in attendance.  By the time the shower was over, there were stamped, addressed envelopes with a post it inside each envelope of what gift was given from each guest.

Paul: On one hand, that’s really cool.  On the other, weren’t you freaked out that a total stranger was quizzing you about your home address?!!  Is she with the CIA?!

Brooke: Honestly, I was drinking at this event, so it didn’t even occur to me to be weirded out by the personal information quiz.  My ass was like “What else do you need? Last 4 digits of my social security card?  Mother’s maiden name?  But more importantly, is there any more rosé at the bar?!”

Paul: You sound like the perfect shower guest!

Brooke: I try.

Paul: I also think this older sister can’t offer to actually write the thank you notes because it’s kind of rude to the gift givers.

Brooke: True!  If I were attending this wedding, gave a gift and then found out the happy couple didn’t actually write my thank you note,  I would be pissed!  I spent time and money on you, but you can’t spent 2 minutes and 49 cents?!!

Paul: Is that how much a stamp costs these days?

Brooke: Yep.  I just Googled it. 🙂

Paul: I seriously had NO idea how much a stamp costs at this point.  But seriously, this bride has to write them herself.  As someone in a marriage where I am definitely the less organized one, I had to forbid my husband to write any thank you notes to my side after the wedding.  He was done with his right away and was chomping at the bit to start writing mine!

Brooke:  Way to fight for your rights, Paul!   LOL!  And I agree, thank you notes are an opportunity – especially for this bride, who up until now has been a little flaky –  to actually give out kind words to people she cares about.  That being said…I HATED writing thank you cards.

Paul: Really?!  I actually didn’t mind it…when my husband wasn’t breathing down my neck.

Brooke: By the time I got to the thank you note portion of my wedding experience, I was just SO OVER doing anything wedding related.  It felt like homework after graduation.

Paul: I saw it as a way to relive the night!

Brooke: That’s a wonderful way to look at it.  Instead, I was the asshole equating it with a boring chore…execpt for YOUR thank you note, Paul.  That one was special.  It came from the heart and was a joy to write.

Paul: Hahaha!  Oh, I could tell! 😉

Brooke: So how could this sister help the bride do this?  What is a practical solution?

Paul: She can assist the bride in picking out the cards, she can set a schedule for writing 5 a day, or plan a fun “letter writing party” afternoon just to get them all done all at once.

Brooke: So the big takeaway for this sister is she can HELP with the thank you cards, but she can’t WRITE them.

Paul: Yep!  Because I’m gonna bet that most people think like we do – If I dragged my ass to your wedding, I had best recognize your handwriting on the thank you note.  Or that card is getting a big “RETURN TO SENDER” stamp on it!

Brooke: What a waste of 49 cents!


Love the card you see at the top of this post?  You can buy them from Patterson Paper’s Easy shop!  They actually have tons of fun, funny and snarky wedding-related cards.  Clearly, we’re fans!


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