Do I Invite Her Estranged Sister to the Surprise Proposal?


Dear Wedding Confessionals –

I’m so glad you’re here, because I really need some advice!

My best friend is about to get engaged, although she doesn’t know it yet! Her guy of a year wants to do a surprise proposal. He has asked me to help bring her friends and family together while he manages inviting his people, so that everyone they love will be there to share the big news with them.

Here’s where I need your help…her sister. My best friend and her sister don’t get along. I’m talking black sheep, they haven’t talked in over a year, and the last time they did talk things got nasty. (For the record I’m totally on my bff’s side when it comes to her sister).

So knowing all this – do I invite her sister to this proposal?  She may be super selfish, make some dramatic scene or make the day about her.  Or she may not come all.  I have no idea if she’s matured at all since they last spoke.

And if any sister drama did happen, would my bff be angry with me?  Or would she be mad that her sister wasn’t there for her big day?  

I don’t know what to do. The fiancé-to-be is no help, he’s never met the sister. He’s basically putting it on me to figure it out.

Help me, please!!!!

– In Sister Hell, in OH

Bitch Session: Should she invite the sister to the proposal?

Pam: Oh In Sister Hell, you’re in a tough spot!

Lauren: I feel like on one hand, yes, the absolute worst could happen.  You want to do nothing but protect her.

But, you know how your bestie feels, and on some level you probably consider yourself to be like a sister to your friend.    And if you consider yourself to be a sister type best friend, then you know this is just a family quarrel. And as a “sister” you know that this is one of the most important days of your BFF’s life.  

So invite the sister, and even if she doesn’t come, that’s not your place to decide. It’s the thought that counts. #bloodisthickerthanwater

Pam: Have you ever had to make a decision like this before? I mean, as the BFF, you have intel that no one else has…

Lauren: Fortunately, with all my fingers and toes crossed I haven’t really had to make such a difficult decision that could affect the future outcome of all parties involved.

Pam: I wonder what happened to cause such a rift!  What if the sister did something really bad, like stole her last boyfriend and your bff says, “I never want her to meet any of my bf’s ever again!”

I mean, it’s just the engagement; maybe leave her off the invite list.  The drama sister can still be invited to the wedding if they patch things up, but at least any engagement blowups are not on you.

Lauren: Oooooooooo!! That is the truth. Well then! Maybe she could find a way to indirectly bring it up like, “Wow, it’s such a beautiful day, you still hate your sister’s guts?” At least she could get it from the horse’s mouth without having to play the guessing game. Ain’t nobody got time for that!

Pam: So true! Kudos to you In sister Hell for being a loyal friend! I say do the best you can to assess the current sister temperament without spilling the surprise! Good luck and let us know how it goes!!

Lauren: Hell, have the soon to be fiancé do some digging! He’s still the one who started this mess wanting to propose and all! It’s all his fault to begin with! In truth, be safe rather than sorry! 


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