I just came from a wedding where the Mother of the Groom refused to come to the ceremony because they wouldn’t let her dog be in the wedding. Actually, that’s not true. The bride and groom agreed that it would be fine – and kinda cute – if the dog was the ring bearer or at least walked down the aisle with the ring bearer. But that wasn’t enough for this Mother of the Groom.
She wanted the dog to be…wait for it…the Best Man in the wedding. She said, “Since you don’t have any brothers, I think the only one who could be your Best Man is Patches.” Granted, the dog had been in the family for over a decade, but it was…ya know…a dog! Plus, the Groom had already asked his friend / roommate from college to be his Best Man, and didn’t think it was nice – or sane! – to tell him he’s being replaced by a dog.
The Mother put on quite a scene before the ceremony, even showing up with the dog in a tuxedo. And for the last time, the bride and groom opted out of making Patches the Best Man, so the mother and her furry date refused to enter the church.
But they did show up a few hours later at the reception hall, only to be told the she would have to be sat outdoors since dogs weren’t allowed in the building. Her response: “This never would have happened if Patches had been part of the bridal party.”
So there she sat, staring through the window with her overdressed dog looking like a lunatic. Though I have to give it to him, Patches did look adorable in his puppy tuxedo.
– SS, 35 from Dog Lovin’ Michigan
B*tch Session: Is this MIL wrong? Or should the pup walk down the aisle?
Brooke: I’d like to preface this by saying I love dogs. My dog has her own Instagram account, so clearly I’m a fan of all things pup-related. Also the name Patches for a dog is perfection.
Pam: This woman is nuts! And this is coming from someone who’s dog was in her wedding. Yep, he was the most adorable ring bearer there ever was!
Brooke: Oh, your ring bearer was ADORABLE! And I think it’s cute to involve pets if you want, especially if it’s a casual ceremony. But dressing up a dog in a tuxedo without the approval of the bride is kinda rude. The cold hard fact is: I’m going to pay more attention to a dog in a sassy outfit than a girl in a white dress. This pooch is pulling focus!
Pam: Right! That kind of decision needs to be up to the bride and groom. They’re the ones paying for this. Wait…did this mother paying for the wedding? Because if she didn’t.. or even if she did, she’s bat-sh*t crazy!
Brooke: Oh, this b*tch is crazy! And I’m not talking about the dog!
Pam: I hope Mom’s cocktail hour, came with a side of Prozac, because she needed to chill out and remember, this was not her OR Patches wedding, this time.
Brooke: But my biggest problem with making Patches his best man, is the same problem I have with making your teenage brother your best man – they can’t get into the strip club! This dog can’t plan a bachelor party! He’s not old enough to get into any bars, and he doesn’t have a credit card to put down to reserve a table at a club, I don’t think this little guy can even get on a party bus without someone giving him a boost….I’m sorry, I just started thinking about driving past a party bus and seeing a dog’s head popping out the passenger window. Wow! That would be adorable. Okay, I’m back in. Make this dog your best man. Your mother-in-law is right.
Have a wedding story you want to tell? Email us at firstname.lastname@example.org
And don’t worry, we’ll change the names and places to protect the innocent…and annoyed.
Your secret’s safe with us!