Rocking Down the Aisle

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From A Classical Bride:

I am getting married in a few months.  My future hubby’s family is…to say it politely…difficult.  His younger brother, “Roger,” who is inexplicably the favorite of the children – is INSISTING that we play “his song” when he walks down the aisle.  His song is “Back in Black” by AC/DC.

I tried to explain to Roger that sometimes people play “wacky” songs when introducing the bridal party at the reception, but not usually during the actual wedding.  He responded by saying he saw it on YouTube.  I can’t find the video he’s talking about, and honestly, it doesn’t matter.  The point is, I don’t want Roger to have his own song at not-his-own wedding.

What do I do?  He said if we don’t do this, he’s not going to participate in the ceremony, which will crush my fiance and his family.  How do I get Roger to change his mind without everyone hating me?

Bitch Session: How do you get Rodger to walk – not rock – down the aisle?

Paul: Who are you marrying?!!

Brooke: You can choose your spouse, but not his family.  Sometimes you marry into crazy.  At least she knows early!

Paul: Truth!  But this is serious stuff!  My husband and I had our first fight as a married couple at our reception when he had the AUDACITY to skip Robyn’s “Dancing On My Own” on our playlist.  Don’t screw with the bride or groom’s music on their wedding day!

Brooke: I’m gonna give the shadiest advice.  Lie.

Paul: Oh, I already love where this is going!

Brooke: Tell that idiot Rodger that you will make sure the violinist breaks into “Back in Black” as he struts to the altar.  Then you tell the violinist – who you are paying – to only play classy shit that makes you look like a damn princess!

Paul: What if the violinist feels pressure from Rodger?

Brooke: $ = loyalty

Paul: Hahaha!  I love where your head is at, but I think you can go about this a different way.   What if she finagles the ceremony so only the bridesmaids walk down the aisle?  Let the groomsmen stand up there with your finance – who should be all over this problem, like a fat kid on cake.  (I say that as a man who went through a husky jeans phase in elementary school.  #teamdesserts)  Just don’t let Rodger walk down an aisle at all!

Brooke: Sneaky!  I like it!

Paul: Sidebar convo: what are the chances that Rodger lives in his parents’ basement?  I’m saying a strong 85%.

Brooke: Oh, please.  Rodger has his own apartment…that his mom pays for.

Paul: Do you have any final advice for this girl?

Brooke: Stick to your guns!  You are entirely right about this!

Paul: And really, isn’t that all a bride wants to hear?  “You’re totally right, and everyone else is an idiot.”

Have a wedding story you want to tell? Email us at weddingconfessionals@gmail.com.
And don’t worry, we’ll change the names and places to protect the innocent…and annoyed.
Your secret’s safe with us!

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