Mother of the Bride: Dumpster Diving Hero

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From: Brooke

I know this story from The New York Post came out a while ago, but I’ve been wanting to talk about it ever since we got this lil’ Wedding Confessionals website off the ground!

*****

This mother proves she would do anything for her bride!  After attending her daughter’s wedding, and taking some adorable pics…

….this lady returned home to her Manhattan apartment, only to realize her daughter’s gown had accidentally been tossed in the garbage!  

So then what did this lady do?  She marched her ass to the dump and went diving for her daughter’s dress!

With the help of the building manager and the Dept of Sanitation, she figured out where the dress could have gone and drove to a New Jersey dump to retrieve it.  As she tells it, “We were ripping through these bags — wearing masks, high boots and gloves. I was moving quickly, going, ‘No dress, keep going.’”  After more than an hour of searching, they finally found the gown!

 

Bitch Session: Is this woman amazing, or is this woman amazing?

Paul: This woman is a hero!  I look forward to her inevitable cameo in Captain America: Civil War.

Brooke: Hell yeah!  Also, let’s read between the lines – this woman lives in Manhattan in a building with a door man.  #rich  And she STILL dove through trash for her daughter.  Lover her.  Love.  Her.

Paul: And the workers from her building helped her voluntarily!  She’s gotta be the nicest person living on the Upper East Side.‪  We can already prove she’s nicer than Madonna.

Brooke: If I was the person who lost the dress, I don’t think I would be able to help at the landfill.  I’d be too busy changing my undies…because losing someone’s wedding dress would make me poop my pants.

Paul: Oh, completely!  And that dress was worth diving for.  Nobody wants to dive through hot garbage looking for a dog of a gown.

Brooke: Have you ever been dumpster diving?

Paul: Gross!  No!  Why, have you?

Brooke: Yep!

Paul: Spill it!

Brooke: This was years ago when I was living in an apartment that didn’t have a recycling option.  I was so overwhelmed by my consumer/urban lifestyle guilt that I would bring my cans and bottles (mostly booze) to this recycling bin a few miles away.  One day I went to Trader Joe’s before and when I got to the big dumpster bin, I wasn’t paying attention and automatically threw ALL the bags from my back seat in the bin – so all my recyling and groceries!  Once I realized what I had done, I IMMEDIATELY tossed myself into that huge dumpster.  And even though it was supposed to just be for recycled materials, it was still full of gross trash.  But I didn’t care!  I’ll proudly dive in a dumpster for reasonably priced hummus and frozen mushroom risotto.

Paul: No shame!

Brooke: Oh, ‪the best part was that this bin was located next to a baseball diamond.  There was this little league game going on, so all these kids and parents witnessed some random blonde lady toss herself into a dumpster in broad daylight.

Paul: That’s completely fucking fantastic.

Brooke: Final words about the dumpster diving mother of the bride?

Paul: She is wonderful.  I want to take this woman out for cocktails.

Brooke: Agreed!  I’ll buy the second round!

Have a wedding story you want to tell? Email us at weddingconfessionals@gmail.com.
And don’t worry, we’ll change the names and places to protect the innocent…and annoyed.
Your secret’s safe with us!

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