Wendy & The Mysterious Ex-Girlfriend

 

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From:  Bewildered in Baltimore

My best friend Bridget made me her maid of honor and her future sister-in-law Wendy her bridesmaid.  All Bridget knew about Wendy, who she had met twice at family functions, was that she was emotional and totally crazy.  But since she lives far away, Bridget was fine dealing with her in the wedding thinking the distance would be enough to keep the crazy tamed.  Wrong.  I can’t go into ALL the details about what Wendy did because I would be writing forever, but here’s what she did to me.  

At the engagement party Bridget pulled me aside to tell me that Wendy is insisting that I not be a part of the bridal party.  Why?  Because I look just like Wendy’s boyfriend’s ex girlfriend.  I thought she was joking and started laughing…until I looked across the room at Wendy GLARING at me.I took all of it like a champ and politely bowed out of the MOH position.  I didn’t want to add to any in-law drama for my friend.  But don’t worry, Wendy would take care of all the drama.

The glaring pretty much never stopped – at bridal shower where she spilled wine on my gift, the bachelorette weekend where she got her own room in order to avoid sharing a suite with me,  and even on the day of the wedding where she stared at me during the ceremony.  And unbeknownst to me, I stood next to her boyfriend at the reception.  This led Wendy to cry in the bathroom for an hour before just leaving the reception way before she should have.

You wanna know the craziest part?  After all this was over, I did a little Facebook digging and found pictures of Wendy’s boyfriend’s ex-girlfriend and I LOOK NOTHING LIKE HER!  Like NOTHING.  Not the same hair color, face shape, body type.  Nothing.  Oh Wendy!  You are insane!  Here’s hoping Wendy stays on the other side of the country forever.

B*tch Session:  Would you drop out of the wedding and let Wendy take over?

Brooke: Nope!  I would have it OUT with Wendy!  I don’t care if she’s crazy.  To quote the great poet Britney Spears: “I got your crazy!”  What about you?

Pam: No way I would drop out.  It’s not Wendy’s wedding!  Also, I wonder if “Bewildered in Baltimore” secretly put Wendy in the same hotel room as her just to fuck with her.  I would!

Brooke: I hope so!  Also, I was single for YEARS but Wendy has a boyfriend?  Life is not fair.

Pam: Some dudes like crazy.  And she really is nuts!  That is 100% confirmed after finding out the ex girlfriend looks nothing like “Bewildered”!

Brooke: Oh, I’m convinced Wendy made that whole thing up to become Maid of Honor.

Pam: Maybe Wendy is an evil genius!

Brooke: Yes!  But so am I!  If I was pushed out of the bridal party, I would hit on Wendy’s boyfriend HARD at the reception.  And her brother.  And her dad.  Wendy, I’m coming for your Grandpa!

Pam: I know Wendy did some crazy stuff, but I think her biggest crime was spilling wine on that gift.  How dare she waste the sweet nectar of the gods like that!

Brooke: PREACH!  So to wrap this up – “Bewildered” is a saint for not harassing Wendy, and just playing it cool.

Pam:  She clearly a nicer person than us.  LOL!

Have a wedding story you want to tell? Email us at weddingconfessionals@gmail.com
And don’t worry, we’ll change the names and places to protect the innocent…and annoyed.

Your secret’s safe with us!

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